In 1954, Torrance, California family counsellor Dorothy Law Nolte dashed off a poem in order to meet a deadline for her weekly newspaper column.Called "Children Learn What They Live," its nineteen lines went on to be translated into thirty-five languages.It was distributed to millions of new parents by a baby products company.And in 2005, Crown Prince Naruhito of Japan said he was raising his three-year-old daughter according to its positive verses.What Dr.Nolte was expressing in her simple way over half a century ago is simply this. parenting styles affect development.Positive parenting styles affect development positively, and negative parenting styles affect development negatively.Positive parenting styles are those which not only notice, but acknowledge and praise the good behaviors in children.Children who receive this sort of affirmation develop confidence, high self-esteem, and an eagerness to engage in more of the behavior which will pay off in more praise.Negative parenting styles affect development in just the opposite way.Negative parents jump on all the mistakes which children cannot avoid making, correcting them harshly and even humiliating the children.Even worse, a negative parenting style simply takes for granted what a child does right or well, and never offers praise of encouragement because good behavior is simply expected.Parenting styles affect development for either good or bad, and parents need to know that a conscious decision in favor of a positive parenting style is not only an option, but a responsibility.While many people have children without having made the conscious decision to do, loving those children and to remaining in touch with the idea that parenting styles effect the development of those children are choices they can make each and every day.Children are terrific observers, and one of the benefits of knowing that parenting style affect development is in realizing that children mirror what they observe.A child who experiences positive reinforcement from his or her parents will learn to be supportive and encouraging of others.In a world where no one ever feels valued enough, raising children who truly appreciate the efforts of those around them is a high calling indeed.On the other hand, negative parenting styles affect development by controlling through intimidation and ridicule.While they may, in the short term, achieve the obedience that a parent desires, in the long term they will teach the child to fear authority and to bully others.And they only work for as long as the parent can physically intimidate the child.New parents would do very well to reflect on how their own parent's parenting styles affected their development and to honestly assess what they wish had been done differently.Being aware that they may put to much weight on their own upbringing as a guide to raising their children is a tremendous first in avoiding a parenting style which will have a negative effect on their affect their children's development.Parenting styles affect development; children learn what they live; and the simple poem of five decades ago is as true today as it was when it emerged from Dorothy Law Nolte's typewriter.
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Parenting Style Affect Development
In 1954, Torrance, California family counsellor Dorothy Law Nolte dashed off a poem in order to meet a deadline for her weekly newspaper column.Called "Children Learn What They Live," its nineteen lines went on to be translated into thirty-five languages.It was distributed to millions of new parents by a baby products company.And in 2005, Crown Prince Naruhito of Japan said he was raising his three-year-old daughter according to its positive verses.What Dr.Nolte was expressing in her simple way over half a century ago is simply this. parenting styles affect development.Positive parenting styles affect development positively, and negative parenting styles affect development negatively.Positive parenting styles are those which not only notice, but acknowledge and praise the good behaviors in children.Children who receive this sort of affirmation develop confidence, high self-esteem, and an eagerness to engage in more of the behavior which will pay off in more praise.Negative parenting styles affect development in just the opposite way.Negative parents jump on all the mistakes which children cannot avoid making, correcting them harshly and even humiliating the children.Even worse, a negative parenting style simply takes for granted what a child does right or well, and never offers praise of encouragement because good behavior is simply expected.Parenting styles affect development for either good or bad, and parents need to know that a conscious decision in favor of a positive parenting style is not only an option, but a responsibility.While many people have children without having made the conscious decision to do, loving those children and to remaining in touch with the idea that parenting styles effect the development of those children are choices they can make each and every day.Children are terrific observers, and one of the benefits of knowing that parenting style affect development is in realizing that children mirror what they observe.A child who experiences positive reinforcement from his or her parents will learn to be supportive and encouraging of others.In a world where no one ever feels valued enough, raising children who truly appreciate the efforts of those around them is a high calling indeed.On the other hand, negative parenting styles affect development by controlling through intimidation and ridicule.While they may, in the short term, achieve the obedience that a parent desires, in the long term they will teach the child to fear authority and to bully others.And they only work for as long as the parent can physically intimidate the child.New parents would do very well to reflect on how their own parent's parenting styles affected their development and to honestly assess what they wish had been done differently.Being aware that they may put to much weight on their own upbringing as a guide to raising their children is a tremendous first in avoiding a parenting style which will have a negative effect on their affect their children's development.Parenting styles affect development; children learn what they live; and the simple poem of five decades ago is as true today as it was when it emerged from Dorothy Law Nolte's typewriter.
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